Hey everyone, so I’ve recently really gotten into this little sport called futbol or football. That’s what it’s called over almost 80% of the world that only the United States and Australia call Soccer. I think it’s super awesome and will from now on refer to it as football since you actually play it by kicking a thing that looks ball shaped with your foot unlike American football where you mostly use your hands to pass, catch, run with something that looks like an egg. The Brits refer to American Football as armored wank ball which is just hilarious and in no way offensive. You shouldn’t be offended American Football fans, it’s entertaining to learn new things about other places and cultures and mix it up a bit right? Right;)
So, I slowly got into this sport of futbol by playing the video game Fifa which stands for the world governing body of football, or something to that affect. The game is super fun and I have progressed from getting waxed on a daily basis to being able to beat the computer every time. But what will happen when I face my old human opponents remains to be seen. The game allows any league team to play any other or any country squad. In the future I will use this to evaluate impossible scenarios such as; who is the better defender, scorer, Wayne Rooney playing for England national squad or Wayne Rooney playing for Manchester United?
Now watching the game on television and following it online, or in print is another task in and of itself. Being by far above and beyond the most popular sport in the world there are just so many leagues and players to know and keep track of. I’m starting slow, but reading regularly. But if I start memorizing the previous leading scorers of the Czech Republic top league then I will need admission to a Shick Shadle like facility for Futbol Obsession Disorder, or FOD. And I’m sure such a thing exists within the London city limits.
Since I’m new to football I tend to use comparisons to other sports in trying to understand it. For example the excitement of scoring a goal in football and the impact on the game is equal to a single basketball player scoring a ten point basket. It isn’t impossible to overcome a ten point deficit in basketball, but it puts you behind for sure. Losing by three to nill in football is a thrashing, similar to losing by thirty in basketball, not a pretty picture. This analogy works except when evaluating goals per game average; a football player averaging 1 goal or more per game is straight killing it, and is much more impressive than a basketball player averaging ten points a game, more like 25 or 30 points per game.
You can even compare players like Christiano Ronaldo is like a Lebron James type player, super powerful, fast and a scoring machine. And Messi can be a more prolific Allen Iverson, a mighty mouse that goes and goes and scores like a maniac, except that I’m sure Messi likes ‘practice.’
Now in defense of armored wankball, I’m a fan, especially the Seahawks, and I’ve followed it all my life to some extent even though now I follow sports in general maybe a third as much as I used to. I still feel like I’ve entered a bizarro world or alternative Earth when I think that the Seahawks actually won the Superbowl. And I really believe it will never stop shocking me, it was just an incredible experience. Can they do it again this year? Who knows? Let’s find out. Go Hawks!!!